Attachment
The role of the mother in the child's emotional development
The forming of a bond, or attachment with the mother/primary caregiver is of utmost importance for later development.
Social development begins with the establishment of a close emotional relationship between a child and another special person in the child’s life, whether it be a parent or another person. This intense, enduring, social-emotional relationship which the infant forms is called attachment.
In infancy and early childhood, attachment is shown in a number of ways. Firstly, the child tries to maintain some proximity to the attachment figure, using them as a secure base to explore their surroundings. Separation from this person causes distress in the child, and joy once re-united. Furthermore, the child’s behaviour is generally orientated towards the attachment figure, listening out for their voice, watching them from afar and seeking their attention.
Drawing on ideas from the psychodynamic theory of Freud and from the study of animal behaviour, Bowlby created a theory of the bonding relationship which develops between parents and children and the effects on the children caused by separation, death or emotional deprivation. He believed that children have a biological need to attach to one person and that they possess certain inborn behaviour patterns such as clinging, crying and smiling which aim at maintaining proximity to the mother. Such an attachment is different from any subsequent attachments the child may have and is therefore crucial.
Central to Bowlby’s theory was the maternal deprivation hypothethis, which was based on the belief that if an infant does not sustain a warm, intimate and continuous relationship to the mother or substitute caregiver, he/she will suffer a number of consequences. Research conducted mainly in orphanages and hospitals showed that maternal deprivation could result in depression, intellectual retardation, emotionally disturbed behaviour and difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships. He believed that such damage was likely to be permanent unless the situation was reversed within the first three years of life.
Unfortunately, however, not all mothers are sensitive or responsive to their child’s needs. In this case, therefore, it may be the case that the infant will look to someone else to satisfy its needs and an attachment may be formed with this person rather than the mother. Of course, not all children have someone who can take on the motherly role, and many children do actually become attached to their mother despite the fact that she ignores and neglects them.
There are marked differences in the behaviour and emotional states of children who have had secure attachment relationships and those who have not. Securely attached children tend to have higher self esteem, are more positive, less aggressive, and generally excel with regards to their social and emotional health, more able to develop and maintain healthy and happy relationships as an adult.
Children who have not had secure attachment relationships tend to suffer from depression, show anti-social behaviour and are generally more emotionally and behaviourably troubled. Without the relevant support, such as counseling, encouragement and subsequent relationships which are healthy and loving, this most often will result in problems with adult relationships.
As children we all need a mother to provide love and warmth, to hold us and care for us. Ideally we would all have this but not all mothers treat their babies in a loving manner, and not all children are brought up by their mother. Children who are brought up by someone other than their biological mother can form a strong attachment to this person and grow up feeling loved and cherished just as if their caretaker was their real mother. We also must not overlook the importance of the father, siblings and others in a child’s development, evidence clearly showing the fact that children do form multiple attachments throughout childhood.
Unfortunately, there are many children who are socially and emotionally deprived and it is not surprising that these children are adversely affected as a result. However, in most cases, individuals can heal their wounds if enough care and effort is put into trying to ensure this. Clearly, early trauma can have detrimental effects and has the power to lead an individual down a very negative and hard road, but subsequent events can change or stop these effects tainting one’s entire life.
