Alcoholism is a lot to handle for an adult when a loved one suffers with addiction. A child growing up with a parent or parents who are alcoholics have the odds stacked against her to grow into a healthy adult. The alcoholic family is chaotic, inconsistent, has unclear roles and in the case of one parent being an alcoholic, the other is generally angry and the children feel the brunt of that anger. Violence and arguments are regular occurrences. These children often grow up suffering trauma that can be as acute as soldiers in combat.
Prevalence
The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimates that 1 in 4 children in the United States are exposed to alcoholism within the family. They also state that these children are at high risk for behavioral problems, physical illness, emotional problems (that will take them through most of their adult life) and they are at high risk for becoming an alcoholic. According to Alcohol Addiction, there are an estimated 6.6 million American children under the age of 18 living in a household with at least one alcoholic parent.
The American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry reported that most children of alcoholics have also experienced some form of parental neglect or child abuse. The National Association for Children of Alcoholics, (NACA), states that 79.6% of welfare professionals cites that alcoholism contributes to half of all reported child maltreatment cases.
Impacts on Children
- Guilt: The child may feel he or she is the main cause of the mother's or father's drinking.
- Anxiety: There is constant worry and fear in the home of yelling, screaming and violence.
- Anger: There is anger at the alcoholic parent drinking and often there is anger at the other parent for lack of support and protection.
- Embarrassment: Some parents may threaten the child not to talk about what happens in the home to others.
- Confusion: Sometimes the alcoholic parent will have rapid mood changes from being loving to being angry regardless of the child's behavior.
- Helpless: The child feels helpless and alone.
- Inability to have close relationships: Many children of alcoholics are unable to have or maintain long-term relationships due to not being able to trust the parents as they grow up.
Children of alcoholics will often try to hide the fact that they have a parent who suffers with this addiction. For those who are close to these children, there are warning signs. Some children will:
- Have problems at school with grades, behavior or attendance.
- Have social issues such as a lack of friends or aggression towards other children.
- Exhibit dangerous and risk-taking behavior that may include abuse of alcohol or drugs.
- Show depression or suicidal ideation.
According to a November 2002 article published by the American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry, alcoholism in families can cause some children to act like a parent among family and friends. They cope by becoming controlled, successful overachievers in school. Their emotional problems usually surface as they become adults.
Helping Children of Alcoholics
Children in alcoholic households need professional treatment and support as early as possible to help avert life-long emotional issues and addictions. However, therapy and counseling costs can be an issue for many families. Counseling and peer-support is free and available through organizations like Al-Anon and Alateen. Children can learn coping skills in a safe and confidential setting.
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